Late night thought.

I can't believe it's been a while since I last blogged about my POV here! It was 6 months ago! Gosh... what have I done for my past 6 months??? Anyway, I've been thinking about blogging recently :)

By the way, I am obsessed with ADELE recently! How does she sing with such a unique voice? I really wish to see her performs live once in my lifetime.

Okay, I'm still busy running my cafe with my man. A lot happened in these past few months. Workers come and go in this period. Some of them left peacefully while some of them left with a messy and chaotic situation for us. Some of them are clever and able to help up while some of them are not so clever and created some problems for us. While, I guess being a boss make yourself an enemy for all your employees even though you mean no harm for them. Who would understand what I meant?

Sometims, I argued a lot with my man. Sometimes, it's about our cafe management issues; sometimes, it's about our relationship issues. I guess it's difficult to separate your personal feeling from working especially when your business partner is also your soul mate?

Sometimes, I would tell myself that I should just run away and left this cafe with him. But, I just can't bear to do that to him and also to myself. I know, I am not a person who give things up easily. I don't wish to give up before I even strive to the maximum. This is not the end for my business and also my love life.

I know it's not an easy task, but I have decided to stay and strive to the max. This would be my Christmas and also New Year wish :)

Fairy tale

Been watching romance movies lately... 'Beastly', 'Water for elephant' and a chinese film (单身男女). All of them have a fairy tale ending although the couples arr all been through a lot before they got each other.

Fairy tale... does it really exist in this world? I know they might not be true, but somehow, they still warm my heart in this messy & chaotic world.

I'm blessed to have someone I love, who I found long time ago. We been through a lot too. Sometimes, you will just feel like why is love so tough? Why is it so complicated? But, everytime, I just can't stop myself from smiling when I see his face. In some ways, he is so perfect for me. Even though sometimes, I really wish I can yell at him and beat him up... but I just can't bear to do that. He might be silly sometimes, but I still love him.

I guess this would be my twisted fairy tale then...

Passion

What does passion mean to you? Do you have passion in your life right now?

I used to believe I have passion in my life. I love what I was doing back then. Getting out from my bed early morning is always not an issue for me. I enjoy meeting new people and learn new things everyday. Seeing beautiful things around me made me feel so happy.

Right now, I'm sorry to say that I feel like I have lost my passion to everything that I've encountered. I have no intention to even call my friends or hang out with anyone. I live like a automatic programmming robot. Wake up, go to work, sleep ... then repeat the same process day by day. I just want to sit at a corner and let the time passing me by. I don't care even there's nobody talking to me. Suddenly, I just wanna be with myself.

I know, this is not healthy. I have to find a way to end this and start living my life again. I'm surviving but not living now. I really hate this kind of feeling! Please... let me find a way and back to myself as soon as possible. I don't know how long can I hang on here without having any passion to my life.

Seriously, I need to save me from myself.

Questions.

I'm sitting alone at a corner. Wondering about many many things that have no answers.

Perhaps I shouldn't keep asking myself 'why' but change it to 'how'. 'Why is this happening?' should be changed to 'How can this helps me?'.

Smart people ask smart questions. I think I should learn from smart people.

Love is hard.

I simply believe love is hard. Ain't you believe it too?

Sometimes, you wish you could be with the one you loved 24/7. You wish you could laugh with him/her over every happy little things that happening around you two. You wish he/she can see only you in his/her eyes. You miss him/her like crazy everyday and you wish he/she does the same thing as you do.

But really, it's not always like this.

Sometimes, you two fight and cry like nobody business. You curse him/her and you wish to tore his/her heart apart like how he/she did to you. You don't wish to see him/her or even hear his/her name being mention. You just hate that why do you love a boy/girl who take you for granted. You wish he/she can call you back everytime after you hang up the call. You wish you two can have a little more space so that you two won't be seeing each other everyday. You wish you could just fly away from here and hope that he/she would come and look for you.

Trust me, if that's what you have been through, that means you are really in love. Question is, does he/she feel the same way too? That's why love is hard.

Midnight thought

I just can't sleep... even though I have a busy night in cafe.

Thinking about many many stuffs with my eyes wide open. Thinking about... does he serious about getting marry? Does he love his ego more than me? Does he really care about his friends more than me? Does a diamond ring really worth for me to stay with him forever? Does he really... love me?

I know, you might think I'm silly to think about all these meaningless questions over and over again. Sometimes, I just wish that I can be a dumb girl... so that I can help him to save his pride/face... but too bad, I'm not good at pretending.

This is me. What you see is what you get. Suddenly I just realized that the reason why I can't stop thinking about all these questions is... I was hurt. Hurt. What a big word!

Guess if you really love me, maybe you shouldn't judge me with your so-called 'friends'.

The power of "Relationship Status" on Facebook

Today is 8th Feb 2011. It's the sixth day of lunar Chinese New Year. Everything is still the same. Adults go back to work while children go back to school. Me? Still working at the same cafe that own by me and my boyfriend, opps, I should call him as my fiance now, Chris.


Nothing much has changed except that he popped the question. Some people are happy for me while some are not. Well, they didn't say it out loud but their action speak louder than words. Seriously, I don't understand why people need to make a fuss about other people's relationship status on Facebook. Does it matter to them if my status is "engaged"? Oh ... I don't think so. But apparently, they are not happy because my fiance has changed his status too. In their mindset, changing relationship status without inform them is rude! They feel like they have been caught off guard. But, you know what, I don't really give a damn. Can't they just get themselves a life? Gosh! 


Okay, let's just said they don't know the true meaning of engagement. According to Wikipedia: "An engagement is a promise to marry, and also the period of time between proposal and marriage – which may be lengthy or trivial. During this period, a couple is said to be affianced, betrothed, engaged to be married, or simply engaged. Future brides and grooms are often referred to as fiancées or fiancés respectively (from the French word fiancé). The duration of the courtship varies vastly.". So people who are annoyed by our relationship status, we are not married yet. OKAY? 


Seriously, I just want to get marry ... with the man that I truly love. We've been together for 8 years. So, what do you think we should do next? Please don't jump into other people life and tell us what to do or not to do. 


I've told myself that I can't control other's people action but I can control how I react to them. So, I decided to move on and don't ever look back. Their action just simply show that they are so inmature and selfish. As for me, I should just... go on and walk away. 


Be with the man that I love is the only thing that I'm asking now. 

A new page of my life.

I used to blog when I studied in college. Creativity is not a problem for me during that period. Basically, I blogged about everything ... from friendship, family, to relationship. But I started to blog lesser and lesser ... especially when I started working. Stressful life of advertising industry seems like killing all of my creativity slowly and deadly. And then, I stop blogging completely since November 2010. 

Now, it's January 2011. And I believe it's time for me to pick up my old habit :) So, I decided to blog again ... with a brand new blog site. So, this would be my first blog for year 2011. Look forward to my next blog soon ~